Emma Watkinson

Shopping and lunch date taken for granted Recharge with a coffee and up again for round two I’m pretending my muscles don’t burn I’m pretending my watch isn’t ticking to seizure o’clock I’m dressing for comfort not glamour Fabrics that mould to the sofa when I need to crash out “Let’s go for cocktails or go out for a meal” I’m pretending I’m alert hiding my yawn in my (jersey) sleeve Getting ready exhausts me before the taxi is called A migraine in the distance promising presence before it arrives Heel ache times by twenty for Cinderella brained belles Nights out spoiled by memories of week long recoveries made Eyeliner eyes glaze through eyelash extensions Weighing heavy on lids already worn and strained Dancing for me is a gladiator battle My chosen cloth light as I’m already weighed down Patterns of clothing mixed with bright flashing bulbs Send my brain waves to seizures looking drunken and strange Pyjamas now; not classic shapes and flattering cut What...

What kind of car for my funeral?  As if I'd care about that? I should be shopping for Christmas  not making post mortem plans I’ve discovered I’m mortal before average age I've written farewells to my family  in case my surgery fails 🧠 There's this thing in my head that shouldn’t have grown  It’s caused havoc for years  with the causes unknown 🧠 It's low grade, not fatal  The big C's not in play but a life time of swelling has sent my marbles astray 🧠 When I got diagnosed,  I was gobsmacked and shocked but relieved that they’d found it  before my hinges fell off 🧠 ‘cause I saw Disney and dinosaurs like I’d dropped LSD  But I owed nothing to dealers  I got my visions for free 🧠 I heard voices and noises  but not the comforting kind  as it burrowed inside me  deconstructing my mind 🧠 What could I say to mi kids about this bothersome blob?  They don’t need insensitive words falling out of my gob ‘cause the “T” w...

I don’t wish to be labelled brave or a source of inspiration, There’s this habit “ableds” have expressing disability deification Bravery comes from choice, not a case of making do. I live dull from day to day the same as folks like you You say that memory must be a mountain and you express your empathy. You say you understand my challenges because you always lose your keys I lost 2006 to 2012, I don’t think that’s the same . With daily embarrassment to feel when I forget a colleagues name They take it personally and hit me with a “what is my value?” probe. It’s not a measurement of our friendship, it’s just my knackered temporal lobe  🤯  🧠