Emma Watkinson

What kind of car for my funeral?  As if I'd care about that? I should be shopping for Christmas  not making post mortem plans I’ve discovered I’m mortal before average age I've written farewells to my family  in case my surgery fails 🧠 There's this thing in my head that shouldn’t have grown  It’s caused havoc for years  with the causes unknown 🧠 It's low grade, not fatal  The big C's not in play but a life time of swelling has sent my marbles astray 🧠 When I got diagnosed,  I was gobsmacked and shocked but relieved that they’d found it  before my hinges fell off 🧠 ‘cause I saw Disney and dinosaurs like I’d dropped LSD  But I owed nothing to dealers  I got my visions for free 🧠 I heard voices and noises  but not the comforting kind  as it burrowed inside me  deconstructing my mind 🧠 What could I say to mi kids about this bothersome blob?  They don’t need insensitive words falling out of my gob ‘cause the “T” w...

I don’t wish to be labelled brave or a source of inspiration, There’s this habit “ableds” have expressing disability deification Bravery comes from choice, not a case of making do. I live dull from day to day the same as folks like you You say that memory must be a mountain and you express your empathy. You say you understand my challenges because you always lose your keys I lost 2006 to 2012, I don’t think that’s the same . With daily embarrassment to feel when I forget a colleagues name They take it personally and hit me with a “what is my value?” probe. It’s not a measurement of our friendship, it’s just my knackered temporal lobe  🤯  🧠

Body in bloom but mind yet to flower Boys looked below an acceptable gaze My body stood out as my teens were awaiting I was mocked by my classmates for premature growth Bra straps were snapped by boys in the corridor Played down by the teachers, as innocent fun I was lonely and tired of the daily invasion but the attention replaced the connections I craved I found contact and company from boys past my year group I was too young to stop it from moving to touch The first one, not chosen saw this rosebud as lonely a card used to gamble his secretive plan He threatened to tell all that I had pursued him as he lay me on ground not designed for embrace The rumours went round as his friends were updated he gave details of actions he took without nod He fuelled judgement on girls who age without option ‘though our thoughts were in line with those yet to bud

How the hell did this happen, This really quick increase in girth? My boobs have gone huge and my stomach has swelled I look like I’m about to give birth * My stretch marks have got their own stretch marks My arse is obscuring the sun Another few months of me eating like this Will have me weighing in close to a ton * My friends say I’m curvy and gorgeous My husband says, there’s more to love But I pant when I walk, and sometimes when I talk My lungs are now ready to pop * My thighs have been rubbing together My hair line is sweaty and lank Coz I can’t walk a mile without a need to perspire It’s my gluttonous ways I should thank * People ask if I favour a sweet tooth, or am I driven by savoury scoff I don’t have enough teeth to count the flavours I crave Just slap it down there in a trough * I don’t think fat makes me ugly I’ve still got the same smile and eyes But that won’t last long if clog up my heart With cholesterol saturated pies * I get ...

He didn’t ask me to come and see some puppies He didn’t tempt me with a bag of penny sweets He just acknowledged when self-hatred grew inside me, He flattered me and wore me down to make my innocence retreat * He didn’t threaten or forcefully make me do things At first he asked me round; just to watch TV This led to mechanically complying to his really fucked up needs, I let him pull apart the dignity in me * I returned to him with no coercion I would stroll as if just calling ‘round for tea I kept it as secret coz I knew that mum would never understand why let him do such sickening things to me * He made me feel like I was wanted The touching was bill I had to pay You see my company was never something other people tried to win, so I returned to him because he'd would let me stay * He asked me if my friend would come and join him his desire had left so he was reaching out for change He asked me to recruit her as she was prettier than me My plain looks were no longer what he craved...

Liverpool’s a hot bed for protest and for change. Politics is ‘r first language debate’s how we engage. Our only Blue’s in Goodison Red’s ‘r governing flag. Yellow is for bellies who’s left is middle class. There was one of independence she shunned those primary hues, she fought for hidden voices, brought breadlines into view. She studied noble Dockers held spotlights on their cause, questioned unfair acts from bosses who paid crumbs for those on board. She questioned why our women who had equal sweat on brow had to work for less than pittance with them in charge expecting bows. She took arms against oppression infuriated by our plight: didn’t condescend or pity she cleared our paths so we could fight. She craved for equal power, pushed for knowledge to be shared, created services to guide us, so our voices could be heard. She addressed the global challenge of how women where abhorred, subject to violence and repression, ignored and robbed of...

We can be arl arse to each other from clothing to careers With benchmarks set at higher peaks than they where in previous years Our jobs judged if they’re not elite our waistlines mocked if wide With ageing skin observed with glee, a focus on aesthetic pride We roll our eyes at those not cultured or if maternal styles are flawed We audit split ends and foundation lines or how our living room’s adorned I heard one girl slag off crinkled nets as if a measure of human worth A protest cause by creased up blinds as un-ironed fabrics are perverse How dare you wear non label shoes with soles beige not scarlet red? Our commitment judged by diamond size and our proficiency in bed We don't value other women without a red brick cap and gown The tick box for acceptance will be the thing that drags us down There's feminist hostility, segregation betwixt our placards How can we fight patriarchal oppression if our matriarchy's knackered? My weight's up and down like sto...

I like mates who don't need selfies to prove our friendship's worth, there's no need for Facebook check ins for every meeting place we share I like mate’s who don’t demand my time in every vacant spot For who months pass without a text, then we pick up where we left off I like mate’s who don’t beg allegiance for all of their opinions you know, those one’s who hog the limelight ( and treat their friendship group as minions ) I like mates content with silence, who don’t need to fill each pause our chats without performance ‘cause simple company’s the cause I like mates without a tournament to tick a success box Competition with a mate can make a friendship hit the rocks I like mates without a mandate, who don’t demand I take instruction Who love when I’m a knob head coz their tickled by dysfunction I like mates who hate my fella when I’m angry with him too But then revert when I’ve made up with him, coz they respect my altered view I like mates who know it’s not personal, wh...

The effs and the Jeffs fall out of my grid Like an angry old man or a ket wigged kid The C's and the T's leave the passengers shocked As I swear on the bus with my censor unlocked I turn the air blue as I chat to my mate Expletives aloud in our curse ridden debate I make the girls blush with my filth laden chat Expressing anger and bile in a profane attack They stare and shake heads as I bellow and holler I should filter my words, when I wear my dog collar Amen © Emma Seasman 14/07/2016

I don’t mind a trim or a bit off the side  but I won’t wax it off Hollywood style   If baldy’s your taste in that bit past you waist  that’s sound but it’s just not my pubic style taste!   If you’re “Yippee-ki-yay.” that is totally fine if your pants have Bruce Willis' hair style inside   But if it’s pressure from a fella as he prefers bare,  why does he have a say in your bodily hair?   Girls have to shave under arms and all over our legs  but man hair’s accepted, so the question it begs   Why can they rock hirsute but demand women shaven when the beard on their face is a biscuit crumb haven?   His bathroom is stocked with beard styling wax  but if you don’t strip bits, he says his knob will relax   If he says “wax off your fur”  then you should wax strip his nads bare so he can experience the painful removal of hair   The depilatory sting if we wax off our minge,  or if we chose to shave it or thread it with ...

Dear sanitary ads with liquids blue You wring them out, wing them out and proclaim your truth * We are surfing and skating Smiling white with hair tossed back, Not doubled up, cramping and hating * My sanitary pad won’t wring out blue My tampon won’t absorb a glass full As your adverts claim they do * I’m in Pizza Express with my white dress stained A patch on the seat, face red And knickers tinted * Diners are horrified at the spillage from my thighs I‘ll have to fake a red wine stain To take the judgement from their eyes "EXCUSE ME WAITER, CAN YOU MOP UP THE MERLOT? ” * Always Ultra lied to me, Tampax blagged and truth defiled me Maxi size with mini action * Anyway, why won’t these towels stay stuck my knickers, yet they yank out mi pubes like an Immac wax stripper? * Why don’t my roller boots ease my pain; like the smiley faced girls in white jeans with no crimson stains? * Their skin shines bright when sunlight glist...